My Hero

We all have heroes! Some of them, in my opinion, are not really worthy of hero status. But they are heroes to some, nonetheless. When I talk of heroes tonight, I am talking about men who I and my family admire so much.

(Little Side Note: I do have many female heroes

but that's a topic for a future blog. There are only so many hours in a day!)

I am so grateful that my sons have decided that some of their heroes are Nephi, Captain Moroni, 2000 Stripling Warriors, Helaman, Lehi, Mormon, just to mention a few. Joe has a couple of pictures on his wall of Chad Lewis--one who surrounds himself with greatness and encourages all the young men in our ward to do the same. I am grateful for Chad's positive influence on my sons. Joe's favorite is probably the picture of the young boy, Joseph Smith, kneeling in the Sacred Grove. Jake has pictures of his daddy on one wall and the Stripling Warriors and Samuel the Lamanite on the other. Everyday I am thankful for the influence of these great men in my young boys' lives.

I have had a few heroes in my life. Men who I have really looked up to.

My sweet Shane--Enough said! Not enough ink to express how I love and admire him. He is like breath to me. He is my reason! My one, true North.

My sons, Joe and Jake. They make me want to be a better person.

My brothers, Bret and Ty. They've always had my back!!

Stephen and Ben--my boys-in-law! Thanks Meg and Britt.

School teachers I loved and admired so much---Jay Allen and Carl Ingersoll, to name a couple.

Church leaders and teachers: Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Elder David Bednar, Pres. Dieter Uchtdorf, Pres. Spencer W. Kimball, Elder Grant Bangerter, Elder Paul H. Dunn, George Durrant, Rich Robins, Stan Kauffman and so many others.

Keith Crockett, Marion Vance and Ben Hinds were heroes of my childhood.

Hospice patients who have taught me love, long-suffering, forgiveness, like Elmer Wiscombe, Legrand Mott, Ben Lewis, Richard Robins, Paul Singleton and Wilson Hayward, only naming a few.

My sweet father-in-law, Howard Jackson. Such a patient, loving man. So willing to love my children and me when Shane added all of us to his family. He never leaves or lets us leave without telling us, "I love you!"

My Grandpa's---both Williams and Collins had a huge impact on my life. I remember little details about them. The way Grandpa Collins always smelled of Old Spice. The way Grandpa Williams shook dice with his precious little crippled hands while we played Aggravation (Marbles). How sweet it was that Grandpa Collins would always sing love songs to Grandma. The proud look in Grandpa Williams eyes when we reeled in a "killer" Blue Gill.

These men are precious to me, but one stands out----above all others.

He was my first hero and will probably always be my favorite. He.....was so strikingly handsome, one of the funniest people I have ever known, hard-working, loved to give mom a hard time during FHE (funny memories), loved my mom, proud of his children, and occasionally really ashamed of us--but heaven knows, we deserved it. Anyway, when I sit and think about him, a myriad of thoughts and feelings take over. Feelings of joy, loneliness, happiness, despair, loyalty, gratitude, regret--LONGING! I am flooded--surrounded and feel his spirit with me.....often. Even Now.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

I hope, everyday, that I do something that makes you proud of me. Something that makes you look down from Heaven and say to those around you, "That's my girl!"

I miss you. I love you!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Green Tapioca Pudding for dessert!

Wish you were here.

A Fish Tale

I find it so interesting that my precious, sweet and innocent little boys have this uncanny ability to talk me into constantly accepting the variety of pets that they bring home. We have had a multitude of “DARLING” kittens, a turtle, a few frogs, tadpoles, and I have even found grasshoppers frozen in our freezer (side note: grasshoppers can be frozen alive—then taken out of the freezer--jump around after the big thaw--and then even used for fishing at a later date. Not to mention, "Freeze Bees" Yes, it is Joe's fault that there is a significant drop in the population of honeybees in Utah. Most of them are in my freezer.) My favorite is the myriad of fish that we have had and subsequently “buried at sea.”

Joe’s English teacher, Mrs. Chynoweth, had several extra “Beta’s” left over from her son’s science project. She’s a pretty smart cookie, that one. She brought them to school and asked “Who would like a free fish?” Joe’s grubby little hand shot quickly in the air and he assured her that it was okay with me. When I got home from work, 'Gill' was sitting on the cupboard in his/her cute little glass home. (I will use the title of “him or his” just to save space. I have no earthly idea how to tell if a fish is a boy or a girl and knowing how to decipher their sex is not currently on my “Bucket List”.

We have had Gill for a little over 2 months. He's practically a member of our family. Joe was diligent about feeding Gill twice a day for about 2 weeks. That’s when I stepped in to help because Joe was---late for school, practicing the piano, playing with his friends, playing the Wii, doing homework, sleeping, etc. So I have been diligent about feeding Gill twice a day and changing the nasty water in his fishbowl every 3 or 4 days. I tried to “help” Joe learn this awesome task but he and pretty much anybody within a mile of our kitchen gagged at the smell. It has been pretty terrible!

Well, Gill and I have become quite good friends. I am very good about picking out his odor just in the nick of time and very carefully transferring Gill into a little cup, cleaning out his little glass house, shining up the rocks in the bottom of the bowl and then adding room-temperature filtered water and ever-so-gently putting Gill back into his home and feeding him the special Beta food we bought at Walmart.

When I wandered into the kitchen this morning at 7:30, (really 6:30, thanks to DST, and about 2 hours before my normal Sunday rising time) I could smell Gill’s nasty home before I could see him. I had already put filtered water out on the cupboard last night so it would be room temperature in time for the “move” this AM. I poured Gill with some of the “ripe” water into his little plastic cup and proceeded to clean out his house. To avoid turning the stomachs of my family, I turned on the disposal and put some disposal cleaner into it to try to rid my sink of the Gill smell. While doing that, I, very carefully and oh so gently, started to put him back into his bowl. Now, had I known that Beta fish have the ability to leap 4” glasses in a single bound, I never would have been cleaning the disposal at the same time I was transferring Joe’s pet.

The only thing I can say is, fish are thoughtful beings. Gill couldn’t bear the thought of seeing me gag anymore or perhaps it was due to having to swim around in his own filth another day. Whatever his reasoning, I believe, he saw his opening. He sacrificed himself so that I would no longer have to endure this madness.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Sorry Joe! Chalk another one up for the greatest mom in the world.

New Favorite Quote

I love to find great quotes. Any kind of quote.....uplifting, funny, serious, religious, thought provoking...blah, blah, blah. Well, last night I found my new, most favorite quote so far.
Just had to share.

Be the kind of woman

that when your feet hit the floor each morning

the devil says:

"Oh Crap, She's up!"

Yep, I want to be that kind of woman.

What's Cookin' in the Jackson Kitchen?

Often, because of my ridiculous schedule, dinner for this family is nothing less than a Crap Shoot. Best thing about that is Shane and/or McKenna. If they know that my day has been the day from HECK, they, or at least one of them, starts supper for the starving Jackson boys. When mommy and daddy are tired and Tee is at FHE, the shop, or the movies----Joe and Jake are happy because it means we venture over to "Jackson's Cereal Buffet," their favorite restaurant.

Well, tonight was an exception to the rule. Tonight, mommy got home earlier than daddy and began perusing the recipes in my brain when a Subway commercial came on the TV. Jared "Whoever" showing the world how he has lost weight eating a sub a day---whatever! Anyway, it made me think of the Subway Meatball Sandwich and the light went on. The lovely, hot Mr. Jackson came up behind me, kissed me on the neck--which he knows I just can't resist and said, "Whatcha doin?"

I turned around, looked deep into his beautiful blue eyes and whispered in his ear, "Let's run away from home."

"Where we gonna go?" asked this gorgeous man of mine.

"I don't know. I just wanna be with you. And by the way, we need to pick up hoagie buns and beer."

The look on his face would have made butter melt.

(Little side note: Sometimes in January and February, when the year-end audits are going on at YLEO, Shane gets a little stressed out. He watches spreadsheets on his computer. He can't think. He doesn't listen. He doesn't talk. He retains nothing if it doesn't have to do with accounts payable or receivable. He pulls his head into his International Controller shell and stays there. So about the end of February, since I am such a patient, subservient, quiet, understanding, long-suffering wife, I start FREAKING out. I am sure, in the caverns of his memory, his past life of about 15 years ago probably seems a lot easier with a whole lot less responsibility. I am sure in his quiet moments, he probably likes to sit back and visit those less sober days.)

I turned around to see if he was in agreement with my little shopping idea but he was gone. "Shane?"

Then I heard it. The whining of the F150 in my driveway---no, not whining---but engine revving---with my calm, sweet husband in the driver's seat, yelling out the window, "Come on, baby" even before I could get my other shoe on. "What the heck did he think I was talking about? Perhaps he misunderstood my reason for that short but sweet little grocery list. It has been a very long couple of months. I'm thinking, as I RUN to the truck, "Maybe I better explain myself before he has a stroke."

"Shane, remember last Tuesday night when we met at the Stake Center and sat in front of the member of the Stake Presidency and got our Temple Recommends signed? I don't know about you but I answered a lot of questions in the affirmative and I'm not going to support you in what I think it is you are thinking. ARE YOU NUTS??"
To which, he just smiled!! (Get thee behind me......)

Well, long story---short---we ran away to Macey's in Pleasant Grove and he raced me to the soft drinks and beer aisle. I've never really cared what brand of beer I cook with but to Shane, it is like a step back in time. He puts on his glasses, holds the cans, one by one, up to the light, reads the label, wipes his mouth on his shirt sleeve, cries a little----I digress!!

Just kidding!! Isn't he cute though?

Anyway, if you want a wonderful, quick dinner and don't mind cooking with spirits, (remember, the alcohol cooks out when you boil it), I thought I would share......

Drunken Meatball Subs

24-30 Italian Meatballs (from Costco)

1/4 C. Butter

1 Onion, chopped

3 Garlic Cloves, chopped

1/3-1/2 C. Brown Sugar

2 envelopes Golden Onion Soup

2-12 oz. cans of Beer (You choose the brand cuz I don't care!)

6-8 slices Swiss or Mozzarella Cheese

A little more soft Butter

6-8 Hoagie Buns

On medium heat, saute chopped onions and garlic in butter until onions are clear, tender and begging for more. (Can't you just smell that?? Makin' me drool!) Stir in one can of beer, the brown sugar and dry onion soup mix. Add the meatballs, (they can be added frozen--the "hot, now non-alcoholic" beer makes them defrost real fast.) Pour the other beer over the top and bring to a boil. Turn heat to low and allow this panful of wonderfulness to simmer about 30 minutes. The sauce thickens just perfectly. Should be a golden color. Turn the oven on "Broil" and take out your broiler pan-or a cookie sheet. Open the hoagie buns and carefully ladle 4-5 meatballs with the sauce onto the bottom half of each lightly buttered bun. Cut the slice of cheese in half and lay the 2 halves over the top of the meatballs. Lightly butter the top half and leave it on the pan and put all into the oven, under the broiler, for about a minute. Watch them carefully so they don't burn. (What a waste, that would be!) Take out of the oven and put the top half of the bun over the beautifully melted, cheesy meatballs. (Don't forget to turn the oven off.)

Serve on a plate with some chips and a pickle.

I guarantee....

you will get the look, from your favorite fella, that could melt butter.

ENJOY!!

Tender Mercies.....

Probably one of my most frequent thoughts is "Remember the Lord's tender mercies." I have been so blessed in my life and try so hard to remember those precious tender mercies.
Because of my crazy schedule and the demands on my time, I usually find myself doing household-type duties late at night (or not at all.) I told Shane the other day that I almost wished I could get sick so I could stay home for a couple of days and get some stuff done. Be careful what you wish for......Well, night before last, as I was sitting at the desk at The Charleston trying to get some resident assessments done, I developed one heck of a headache.....then the sore throat.....then the cough. I mean, this sucker came on me in a matter of about 45 minutes. Anyway, when I finally got home, (not until 8:20pm), I looked at Shane and he gave me the "Ew-w-w, not good!!" look on his face. I ate some warmed-up leftovers, (my favorite...NOT...but at least we had leftovers) and then Shane tucked me into bed. What a miserable night! I hate those "body-achin', snotty-snuffin', choking-coughin', sore-throatin'" nights. I felt like I hadn't slept in a year when I finally woke up. Spent the whole day in bed----stalking other people's blogs and sleeping. Had to drag my butt out to the "Blue and Gold Banquet" for little Jake at 6:00 cuz he was getting several scouting awards, so I sat in a corner and couldn't even hold one of Chad and Michelle Lewis's newborn twins.

Paula Osborne and Jake

During the awards, Jake snuggled up to me at the table and said, "Mommy, I have a GIANT headache." I looked at Shane and said, "He's gettin' sick." I got Jake home and he and I fell into my bed with the chills and taking turns coughing and moaning. When Shane and Joe got home from scouts, Shane tucked Jake into his bed and he was fast asleep almost before Daddy got bedtime songs sung. About 4:20am, I heard Jake start to moan and then he started crying, calling out, "Joe, help me! Joe, help me!" I lifted my head off the pillow and realized I wasn't going very far with the throbbing going on in that head. I started rubbing Shane's back and he got up and went quickly to Jake's side. He was not to be consoled until he saw Joe. Joe had woken up, too, because his little buddy needed him. I dragged my rear out of bed, holding onto my head so it wouldn't fall off in the hallway. I laid down by Jake and Joe laid down at his feet and I asked him to tell Joe and me about his dream....it really was scary. (You know---the whole home invasion type dream.) He was burning up with fever so I got him some Tylenol and had him crawl into bed between daddy and me. Well, the tender mercy here is waking up between these two precious people. Shane---because he is my love and the best decision I ever made. Jake---my baby---has always been the cuddliest, mommy-lovin' kid I've had. I looked at his sweet little face and thanked my Heavenly Father for the blessing of being a mommy to all of my children. This tough little guy loves his blanket, STILL!! His soccer-playin', Wii-playin', basketball-playin' buddies don't know that but it's one of our favorite family secrets. When he woke up, he reached over and held my hand and said to me, "You know what I hate about being sick? When you are laying in bed and a commercial comes on the TV with some food that looks so good but you know you would puke if you ate it. Yeah, I hate that! Well, what I love about being sick is, laying in bed and snuggling with you."

My sick little guy!

So, I guess it's okay to be sick for a few days, even if I don't get anything done but snuggling with a little boy who won't always be this willing to snuggle with his mommy. Tender Mercies. Thank Heaven for them.

Athletic Supporter

When my 4 girls were growing up, we were not always able to afford the many little sports/piano/dance/gymnastics. etc. lessons. Bless their hearts! They all started piano lessons but mommy was weary and not able to be there to push the practicing nor did we have any extra money laying around so Brittany can still remember the starting of "Man From Snowy River" and they can all pound out a mean "Heart and Soul" but that's about the extent. I want to publicly apologize to them for that very unfortunate, pennie-pinching time in our lives. Because Joyce Smith Stoddard was my friend, Brittany and Brandy were able to take dance lessons for a while and Brittany was a member of the Sunshine Generation which brought us some very fun and happy times. Brandy and Megan loved the Jr. Jazz basketball program and McKenna loved to hang out with mommy!! Sometimes the baby gets some of the hard parts along with all the spoiling!! Sad, huh?! SHUDDER!!!! ARGH-h-h-h-h-h-h.......
Okay.............
Well, things have improved in every little knitch of my life, even financially. Joe and Jake are very athletic and are blessed to live with us at a brighter time of life.

They are quite the soccer and basketball players. We have so much fun watching their games. As I mentioned in Shane's little profile, he has coached both of their teams since Joe was 4 and Jake was 5. Joe's team stayed together all of those years and some of them are still together today, playing on a competition Triple A team. So exciting!! Jake has decided that basketball is his second most favorite sport. Their sisters love to watch them play and have attended many of their games. Joe and Jake also take piano lessons and although this is not their favorite, they are really very good at it. They only have to take lessons until they can play all the songs in the LDS Hymnbook, so at least there is a dim light at the end of the tunnel. (SOMEDAY THEY WILL THANK ME!!!)
K.C. was blessed with Shane's athletic ability as well and is amazing at baseball, which his dad excelled at) and has also been on the golf team at Payson High. Mostly because of the distance, Shane has been unable to help coach him on any of his teams but the desire was sure there. We loved the games we have been able to watch him play.

I Love You, Bret!!

I have 2 brothers who I love very much. Bret and I are 17 months apart and Bret and Ty are 14 months apart. What in the world??? That had to have been a lot of work for my mom. Anyway.....my brothers are really special to me. We shared a lot growing up----lots of happiness and lots of hard times. Bret is a "repossesser" (you know.....U OWE-I TOW!!) and owns his own business in SLC. He bought the business from my dad and mom shortly before my dad passed away in 1999. Tyler is a very successful surgeon in SLC. They are both great men!!

My sweet (and might I mention, ruggedly handsome) brother, Bret, is going through a very hard trial at this time. After several years of struggling through a sad and emotionally exhausting marriage, finally divorcing and then gaining custody of his 2 younger sons, he had finally found....."The One." Teresa Redmond and Bret were a sweet couple with some big plans for a wonderful future. Through no fault on anyone's part, Teresa passed away sometime during the night on February 9, 2009. All I can say is, it must have been her time to go. I only got to meet her once and I was so impressed with her sweetness and her obvious love for my brother. I loved her because she loved him and I loved her because he loved her. She and Bret have been going together for quite a few months and have been so happy.

Sometimes I do not understand......no......I never understand when it comes to these kinds of heartaches. I do not know why there has to be a black cloud hanging over the top of a lot of the happy times, just waiting to pounce at the most unexpected times. I do not understand why a man, with a heart of gold, like my brother, has to be tried multiple times. It Is Enough!! He needs to be happy! He deserves to be happy! He needs to be able to raise his children with a loving, caring, emotionally well, companion and helpmate, without the fear of losing again. I am just a teeny bit angry. I understand that this is part of the grieving process.....but basically, this sucks! Even when I do what I do, for a living, sometimes death is something we should be able to conquer. It leaves too many questions. It leaves too many broken hearts. It leaves too many wondering what could have been different if.......

I love you, Bret. I wish I could wipe away your tears and your fears. I wish I could heal the tender hearts of Dylan and Lil' Bret. I wish I could bring Teresa back. I wish you a happy life.

You are one of my true life heroes. Be brave and talk to Heavenly Father! Those tender conversations between you and Him will help heal your heart. I know this to be true. Our hearts are broken for you and you are in our prayers.